Bad Nadja.

I did something I haven’t done in a very long time.

I managed to completely forget my meds on Wednesday. Morning AND night (though morning is just synthroid; the really important ones are the nighttime meds…) I haven’t done that in ages. Honestly, the only time I don’t take my meds is if I’m actively throwing up, and as soon as I can keep food down, I take my medicine, too.

Oddly enough, I felt GREAT on Friday. Somewhat manic, though, and thankfully, that has passed. I’m glad I went manic instead of having another downswing because I was made of medicine fail. Manic feels better, happier, though I end up with a lot of self-recrimination afterward due to not being able to shut up. I can’t help it when I’m manic; I literally cannot stop talking. It’s like a pressure if I try to shut up, that’s uncomfortable and I don’t like it, so I keep talking and talking and making myself look really stupid in the process. The clinical term for it is “pressured speech,” and they’re not kidding. It really does feel like there’s some sort of pressure running my mouth.

I still can’t believe I forgot my medicine like that. It’s not like me. I could’ve sworn I got up and took them but evidently that was just a dream. I had come home on Wednesday out of sorts so I crashed after dinner, at about 6:00. I thought I got up and took my medicine at some point; I recall getting up to go to the bathroom, which is usually when I’ll double-check my mediset to see if I remembered my medication, if I don’t go through my usual nighttime routine. I guess that didn’t happen how I thought. Whoops.

Note to self: take your medicine before crashing. You probably won’t wake up until the next morning, and you do that every time and end up taking your medicine late. Be proactive for once.

What’s your medication routine? Do you forget to take it sometimes? Does anyone else have pressured speech when they’re manic?



Filed under Now

2 responses to “Bad Nadja.

  1. The only time as an adult that I’ve not taken my meds was actually just a couple weeks ago, and only because the pharmacy had it on back-order. I didn’t think 1 night would be a big deal. It’s impossible for me to forget because I won’t sleep until I’ve taken them. Even that night, I took 2 Unisom and an Ambien and still laid awake all night. The entire week afterward was probably one of the worst weeks of my life. It’s what prompted me to start my anonymous blog. I’ve blogged for years on my main site but it’s not anonymous and I’ve never had a reason to talk about my disorder until I skipped that night. I hadn’t felt like that since I was a kid. It almost landed me in the hospital.

    • Wow. Though I’m still feeling a bit off, I haven’t quite shaken January yet anyway (and February is nearly gone already) so I’m not sure how much is remnants of January, and how much is missing all of my meds that night.

      What happened that week? Anything you want to talk about?

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