On being a burden, take three

No matter how you slice it, I will always be a burden to my family. I’m the sick one, the one who is always falling apart. I have wanted so badly to kill myself the last few days to relieve them of the burden that is me I can’t even begin to vocalize it. I guess I’m still depressed. I feel alone on the brink of madness, and I want to jump.

I’m so tired, so bone-weary. I know we all have our own burdens to bear but WHY? Why did I have to hate myself and want to die all the time? I know I’ll never get an answer, and I know it is just how it is, cold, unfeeling chance.

Some days I wish I’d never been born.

I’m just so tired.



Filed under Now

5 responses to “On being a burden, take three

  1. James Claims

    I can sympathize, I feel like the disabled on in my family. While my brother is off in silicon valley and my sister is pursuing a PhD, I’m stuck in yet another year of undergrad and struggling to stay alive. I wish I had advice on how to get over these feelings, but it’s just the reality that we’re dealt with. I can only offer a sympathetic ear if you ever want one.

    • It’s so hard to keep going sometimes. I’m glad I’m not just screaming into the void. Just knowing someone is reading this helps. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve run everyone off…

  2. Remember that this feeling is uncontrollable and it is real yet at the same time it’s all in your head. Does that make sense?

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