I win!

January, you have been defeated! I survived January and now I only have to survive the next eleven months to keep my New Year’s resolutions.

We had a drug lunch again. Every time it’s about a bipolar medication, rather than one for schizophrenia, I end up getting depressed by the facts I read. Lately I’ve been pretty bummed about my illness and how difficult it makes *everything.* One of the social workers at the state hospital asked if I have my MSW (Master’s in social work) because they’re hiring a couple of social workers, and she thought I’d be a good fit, seems how I’m there all the time anyway. The more I started thinking about it, the more I realized that unless I find myself someone who wants to support me while I go back to school, I don’t know when I’ll be able to go back to school for my Master’s and PhD. I can’t afford it, either financially and mentally- if I worked full time and did school part-time, I’d have a breakdown from stress. But if I quit working or went to part-time I wouldn’t be able to afford my bills. If I take it one class at a time I wouldn’t be able to defer my loans. It’s just a mess.

I’m tired of bipolar disorder holding me back.


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