I have been working my ample white derriere off at work, and I had a blast on Saturday with my new boyfriend, but spent the day emotionally exhausted Sunday. I started crying several times, once when petting my cat, who is six, as I started thinking about her eventual death. I’m sure I have a good 6-10 years left with her, but that didn’t stop the tears Sunday afternoon.
I ended my date on Saturday blubbering on my boyfriend’s shoulder, worried sick about how he would feel about my illness and my decision not to have children. I wanted him to have an out, because it isn’t easy to live in my head, and my roommate assures me that it’s not always easy living with me. He resolutely refused to run for his life and vowed that nothing I had said was all that scary, and he wants to be with me. This led to another round of blubbering. I woke up Sunday with a stuffy nose and a headache, and despite my resolution about wanting to get paperwork done, I was too emotionally tired to do anything beyond sleep and sit on the couch, listless.
Insomnia followed the napping the day away, though at 2:30 Monday morning as I type this, I am finally good and sleepy. Work is going to suck tomorrow without enough sleep but I’ll do my best to survive.
I already feel burnout coming, and it’s only been a week. Dear lord have mercy on my poor broken body…