I actually feel pretty good. Aside from a raging migraine Monday night- Tuesday mid-day, I’ve been doing pretty well. I’ve not been suicidal, though I am still quite anxious in public and am leaning rather heavily on my little sister for support when I go out. Driving is a bit nerve-wracking, but I think it always has been. Big cities are like that. This is probably why I don’t go out much, at least during peak times, if I don’t have to. I’m still having nightmares, and I wonder how long my PTSD is going to be out of control for. Maybe once I get some notes done and no longer think I’m going to be fired? I do have my work computer here with me, but I’m technically not supposed to be doing any work until 9/4. I am a bit confused how to address this, as I want to get it done to take a load off of my mind, but as the system will register my login, will I get in trouble? I should call and ask.
I’ve been making some sales! Five so far, which means I’ve a modicum more money than before, anyway. Still several hundred dollars short, but there’s time. This means I have to venture out tomorrow to get more boxes to ship my wares in. And get gasoline, as my car is on E. Why does life have to be so expensive?
I bought proper exercise shoes today, and my sister and I walked around an outdoor shopping center to break them in a bit. I’d like to start walking and biking with her soon. My mother’s been on the warpath about it a lot lately, as exercise is the cure for all that ills, at least once I’ve run out of pharmacological options, as far as she is concerned. While I *do* need to get exercise, I tend to dig in my heels when it’s being preached at me non-stop and not want to do it. I called and bragged once I did it, and that felt good. Just so long as she doesn’t start into any crap about weight loss, I’m happy. (For those just now tuning in, I am pro-Health at Every Size. I’m still working on converting my family.)
I haven’t talked to my boyfriend since everything went down last week. I’ve not felt able to address things in a rational, calm manner. Maybe today, we can sit down and talk.