Last week was a complete fail by most, if not all, definitions of the word. I was successfully at work for a full day on Wednesday, and most of one on Thursday. That’s it. Monday, Tuesday, Friday- all FMLA days due to my mixed episode at the beginning, and then utter despair and depression on Friday. My coworkers weren’t talking to me; I was depressed and paranoid and tearful and scared.
One of my friends recommended I look at work as a temp job, where that day is all I need to focus on. My mother’s favorite sayings immediately popped into mind.
How do you eat an elephant?
One bite at a time.
Just make the *next* right choice. Don’t worry about what choices you’ve made, they’re over, or the choices to come, because they’re not here yet. Just make the *next* right choice.
I saw both of my doctors over the weekend, and the echoed the same sentiment, and encouraged me to work harder on setting up a healthy consistent sleep schedule. (Which I completely blew on Sunday, by the way, and now, as I write this, I’m panicking over whether or not I’ll sleep. *sigh.*) My psychiatrist gave me samples of Rozerem, which is evidently based on melatonin instead of a benzo like Sonata, which made me hallucinate. I meant to take one Sunday night to see how I react but completely forgot, so I’ll wait until this coming weekend to try it.
My upcoming paycheck is terrifying me, but now I’ve gone into action mode, and am thinking of ways to counter the bad paycheck with crafting. I have a fairly large commission to complete that will net me quite a bit of money, so I was working on that today. It’s an easy one, and for someone I am happy to work for; one of the voice actors I know asked me for some of the Ben 10 jewelry I’ve made, so he can give it away as trivia prizes at a convention at the start of the year, in Australia. I don’t think any of my jewelry has ever gone that far- the furthest I’ve sold is to England once or twice, Mexico, and Canada. I don’t know why I’ve been procrastinating on it, other than the fact that I seem to enjoy procrastination. I’ve started, and should be able to knock the rest of them off fairly quickly- they’re really not hard to make, at all. I want to experiment with glazing them with decoupage finish, to see if that will make them more durable, but I’ve got to get more of said glaze. I tried to pick some up Sunday at Michael’s, but they don’t carry the brand- Hobby Lobby does, but they’re not open on Sunday. I’ll have to stop on my way home tomorrow. The brand I decided to try from Michael’s acts more like Mod Podge, which I don’t like how tacky it is even after it’s cured.
My sister came over and we found my room! It’s the first time it’s been put together since the first wave of bedbugs, and hopefully will remain so. On Tuesday we’ll hang things up and put things away in my display case, to take care of the last few boxes that don’t have a home. My closet is nicely organized and my room isn’t full of box piles. I can even open my bedroom door into my bathroom if I so choose. It’s… peaceful in there, once again. I like peace.
Now to settle down and go to bed, and get a good night’s sleep, for work tomorrow. I want to be a model employee tomorrow, and start December off on the right foot. My clothes are picked out, my lunch is ready to go… Everything is in order. I hope things go off well.