The cruelest cuts

Mom mentioned during therapy that she saw me wince when some awful weight loss commercial came on, and admitted that she didn’t realize how fat-negative the media is. Dances with Fat always explains and has amazing articles she links and data to back her up; I wish I could recall numbers at will, but the dieting industry makes 60 BILLION dollars annually.

That’s a 6, followed by ten zeros. 60,000,000,000. A YEAR.

I refuse to give them a penny if I can help it.

The war on fat is lining their pockets, so nobody wants to admit it’s junk science and the important things are eating healthy and moderate exercise, not losing weight, because your body has a set point it likes and will do everything possible to get back there.

I told mom that I am harassed constantly. On the street, in stores, by clients, by coworkers, by family.

I remember an incident where my dress for my high school choir was improperly measured, so there was no room for my boobs. My grandma was adjusting it for me. My great-grandmother, who was somewhere in the ballpark of 92 at the time (She passed at 101, a little less than two years ago) grabbed one of my fat rolls, and said, “Well, if you’d just put her on a strict diet, she wouldn’t HAVE this problem!”

Nobody said anything. I was struck speechless, and so were my mom and grandma; nobody came to my aid. My loved ones say horrible things, or stand by when others say horrible things, and the worst part is: NOBODY REALIZES IT’S HORRIBLE. I mentioned how I am on the defensive because I expect to be attacked, and mom agreed it was a sensitive subject, and proceeded to pick me apart about it. She “wants better” for me. She and my stepdad are afraid I’ll end up disabled because of the OMGDEATHFATS, and thus my title of lazy will only get stronger. Mom has said she’d support me if I become disabled due to my illness, but a few days later mentioned how disabled people are lazy and should work and stop being a drain on the system. I was again struck speechless, and resolved to not become disabled, because I can’t live with that again.

I don’t think I’d survive it this time.

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