A head full of ideas and nothing to talk about

Saturday went well, as it was therapy day. I woke up when I was supposed to be there (I was dreaming I got up and got ready, does that count?) so I had to rush, but was only 25 minutes late, which is pretty good for living fifteen minutes away. We talked about a lot of things, particularly my decision on the second anniversary of this blog to take it public, and how my family might take it. I probably should’ve talked to mom first but it was a very spontaneous thing, but I promised to call her later and tell her, so she would know it existed. As far as I could see, she hadn’t seen the post on facebook, as it was put up very late in the evening. When I did manage to catch mom on the phone later, she was glad I told her and gave her the choice. I wanted to make sure I didn’t hurt her feelings by reading my entries, and she was concerned about hurting my feelings if she chose not to read.

It’s weird how I can feel so awful all week, and yet by Saturday, my brain is firing on all the correct cylinders again. I really think most of my issues for the last two weeks, have been related to me being triggered so badly by my downstairs neighbor bellowing at all hours. It’s hard to do much of anything when you’re constantly having a panic attack. Three days out of the last week I woke up having a panic attack, and couldn’t manage work, because it took an hour just to get up and get to the living room to get the phone to call in. One of those days (I think it was Tuesday,) I managed to get my sock drawer open and get socks out, and then burst into tears. It was not pretty.

Bringing home my sound generator from work has helped a lot. It’s raised the threshold of background noise and drowns out the TV, and I haven’t been jolted awake by his yelling for a few days now. It’s really nice, and I’ve slept spectacularly well this weekend, in particular. Of course, he might just not be yelling right now. If it picks up again, I will definitely be complaining to the landlady. I try to be the good tenant, but if he’s bothering me, chances are he’s bothering other people, too. I’ve also got to talk to his fiancee. She and I came to an agreement to split my internet back in, oh, October. I have yet to see any money. She also borrowed my (rather expensive) shredder and has not yet returned it. Ugh, I hate confrontation, but I really need to go take care of all that.

Saturday I was motivated, and I cleaned, organized, gathered recycling together to take to the depot, worked on fixing up photography of old projects to post to DeviantArt and Artician, as well as to create new listings on Etsy for custom orders, so I had example pictures. Sunday I… got out of bed. I did get a few chores done around the house, particularly sweeping the living room and moving furniture to do so, to catch up with the cat fur. For the most part, I’ve been keeping up with my apartment and keeping things fairly tidy, which is probably also helping with the headspace issues.

So after searching on Facebook for a way to screen posts, as I’ve now linked my blog to Facebook with the Publicize option, I found a way to limit who can see when it automatically posts a message for my updates. I also hid my family relationships from my friend’s list, so that can stay more safely anonymous. It feels weird, writing a blog anonymously while simultaneously talking about it on Facebook, which is much more public. Hopefully things will go smoothly.

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