So I’m on a quest to come to peace with my mind and body. The body’s the easy part; my mind is actively out to get me at the best of times. As my friends repeatedly remind me: Depression is an asshole. Depression is a lying liar who lies. Depression is a filthy liar and makes everything so much harder. Lather, rinse, repeat. Easy to read and write, but not so easy to internalize, especially in those dark hours of night where all I can do is cry and wonder why I am the worst person on this planet. (Which is a stretch, as I’ve never killed or maimed anyone, never committed any genocide, or been responsible for any other atrocities. I just occasionally goof up and say mean things or hurt people’s feelings on accident. I definitely am not the *worst* person ever, but the illness tries its damnedest to convince me I am.)
A few months back, a friend recommended I start meditating, and using positive affirmations while doing so, to help with some of the self-hate that abounds when I’m depressed. Meditation before sleep seems to be helping me relax to the point of being able to fall asleep more readily, so I’ve definitely latched on to that one. Since getting my yoga mat, I’ve started meditating on it, because it’s a lot more comfortable than the floor and meditating on my bed does horrible things to my posture and I end up focusing on that, versus, y’know, cultivating inner peace.
I’ve been trying to find positive affirmations that don’t feel silly or stupid to use. I was googling around looking for stuff on improving self-care, and tripped over an affirmations page that I sort of like.
If we are to be effective in the things we set out to do in life and in particular if you are embarking on a process of change, you need to be performing at your very best. To achieve this we must care for ourselves at all levels, ensuring that we receive the mental, physical, emotional and spiritual sutainance that we need and that as we expend our energies we allow ourselves time for renewal. Acts of self-care are acts of self-love and are essential to your wellbeing.
Do not skimp on this process; not only is it essential, it is one of the most enjoyable, worthwhile and fun aspects of life that we need to undertake, so don’t miss out on it!
The page is Vital Affirmations and advertises itself as “The Positive Mindset Website,” which is something I definitely need to work on. I’m slowly wandering through the site, picking up the things I like and laughing at the bits that feel silly, but trying to keep an open mind. My goal is to develop a positive mindset when I’m feeling well, and building it into a personal mantra that I can draw from when the illness is beating me upside the head and shoulders with self-hatred. Granted, there are some affirmations for things I don’t agree with on their site, like weight loss, but thankfully it is labeled, and I am a thinking adult who can avoid the stuff that’s just going to trigger me. …Most of the time. Sometimes I’m too curious for my own good.
If anybody has any suggestions of other positive affirmations they’re fond of, please feel free to share. I’m undertaking this quest with all of you in mind, and want to be able to share all the positive I can.