I’m still having a lot of trouble with this whole sleeping thing. I have to keep going until I’m literally too exhausted to keep going, because otherwise I just lie there in the dark, being tormented by everything that’s happened, along with whatever awful memories the brainweasels can drag up to visit as well.
Sunday evening/Monday morning I took that awkward sleepless time to at least make something productive. I finished a pair of fingerless gloves that were ordered, and made a Perceptor, Starscream, and Skywarp bracelet. Thundercracker will be next, but I can’t even see straight right now. I am finally tired, and the sun has risen. *sigh*
I would be driving to work right now, and hopefully be on the expressway, heading north.
It still feels so surreal. I keep thinking about my clients, about their individual struggles and what I was trying to work on with them. I keep wondering what they were told about my sudden disappearance. I hope my coworkers told them that I care deeply for them all, and that it wasn’t their fault that I left. I wonder how my coworkers feel. Relieved? Angry? I don’t know.
I sort of want to know, for closure’s sake, but I’m not sure I’m strong enough for that.
For now, I think I’ll finally go to bed, because I’m too exhausted to keep going, and I’m too tired to make anything without making a mess. Seeing double is not helpful when working with seed beads.