I have a job interview today at 1:00! I got so much done on Thursday and that was just icing on the cake. I’ve got my outfit all picked out with a backup if I change my mind, jewelry and accessories picked out, shoes picked out, everything lint rolled to keep up with the cat fur…
I tried to print out their application and complete it in advance as requested, but it wouldn’t load for me. I’ll try again later- I’d much rather do it in advance so I don’t get flustered trying to fill it all out in person. I tried to print directions but google maps has decided that it’s elsewhere. It’s in the same neighborhood I live in, and not that far away, so I was able to find it on the map, but I couldn’t get it to actually print directions. I wrote down the two whole turns it takes to get there, instead.
I need to go find my stash of fancy resume paper to print a resume to take with me, and set my portfolio out, and I think that’s just about everything.
Man, I’m nervous. After the interview, I’ll be grabbing my cat and heading up to Michigan to spend Easter with my family. One weekend is much easier to cope with than a week, and hopefully my stepdad will be in a good mood. My therapist and I talked about all of this today, and I’m going to try to have a conversation with my mom about my health without being on the defensive, as I so often am. If I initiate the conversation and hold it on my terms, and try not to revert to the teenager I feel like when mom starts in on me, I hopefully will make some progress.
Heck, if she just read the books I (very passive-aggressively) left there for her to read, I think progress will be made. She doesn’t want to believe that I can be healthy AND fat, and she obviously believes that she can guilt-trip me skinny, which is so far from reality it’s almost funny. If she and my sister want to continue to eat and exercise in a disordered manner, that’s fine with me, just leave me out of it entirely. I’m concerned that it is very disordered but I don’t want to broach the subject until my mother will no longer turn it right back on me and turn it into yet another “guilt her skinny” session. I just don’t want them to develop eating disorders, and maybe see them make peace with their bodies, as well, not turn it into a battle.
Alright, off to get some sleep, and then I can spend the morning fretting over everything.