I finally remembered to write this one ahead of time.

Stream-of-consciousness ahoy, I ramble a lot in this one.

Things have been a bit weird around here lately, I figure forgetting about actually writing blog posts in advance isn’t too awful. Usually I’ve got several written in advance and have a buffer- I’ve had productive Saturdays where I wrote a week’s worth of posts.

This has not been one of those times.

Chihiro’s still on the mend, and she’s doing really well. Though she’s still very, very high on painkillers and is hilarious as a result. The little shaved patch on her arm from the IV makes me all wibbly and I want to fuss over her constantly. She’s back to sleeping in my lap and letting me cuddle her, and she was moderately more tolerant of being medicated today, though she made her displeasure quite clear. There’s only Thursday night’s dose of the anti inflammatory pill, and then it’s just the liquid painkillers, which are a lot easier to dose her with. I’ve managed to get a peek at her very, very pathetic mouth, and oh my goodness. She’s quite a trooper, given that she’s eating with aplomb despite the fact that she had twelve teeth removed and so there are stitches EVERYWHERE in her mouth, and her mouth is red and irritated-looking and can’t be comfortable, and I keep finding little spots where she had been napping and drooling and there’s a bit of blood in the drool, and you’d never know it from how she’s behaving.

Cats really can hide when they’re hurt absurdly well. I feel a little less guilty for not realizing there was a problem for so long, given that she’s not really acting any differently after having more than half of her teeth removed. Of course, she’s always been on the grumpy side, so maybe she’ll be sweeter once she heals up a bit?

On a completely random note, I keep having flare-ups where I’d had bedbug bites before. Upon doing some research, it seems that this is fairly common, usually during times of stress, illness, or when it’s hot. Given that I already get stress eczema, I’m all kinds of thrilled. There’s a company in England that hires people who develop the sort of super-sensitivity I have to bedbugs as detectors. I wonder if they’d hire me.

My interview at the case management agency is at 2:30. I keep almost forgetting that I’m supposed to be somewhere, and going, “Was something going on this Thursday…?” for a while before it occurs to me that, hey, two separate places are giving me the time of day this week.

I would be 110% cool with this job, seriously. Doing what I did at my first case management job, while getting the pay rate of the second? Please, sign me up. And maybe, if I can keep the stress down, I can get back to school, or something.

I’d just really, really like to be employed again. I get so bored during the day. I’m also afraid, though. I had a tearful conversation with mom about being disabled and going on disability earlier this week, and those fears are still very real. I’m feeling a lot more hopeful after getting so much attention from employers this week, and I’m hoping that maybe everything was just a bad fit before, and if I work somewhere I am happy and well-paid and not feeling like I’m being micro-managed, I can be at work more. Sure, I missed work before, but only once or twice a month, instead of multiple days a week. I had very few multiple day absences that were mental health related. I really think I can do it. I’d like to.

I’m not ready to give up yet.


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