Well, I got a little done.

I managed to call in refills of my meds, but inevitably all of my medications that were due, were out of refills. My primary care doctor’s office called to tell me that I’m only getting a month of synthroid because they want to check my bloodwork again, so I guess I need to make an appointment for that. The pharmacist will call me back once she’s got orders for everything so I can pay for it, as I’m paying as I go right now. I miss having a health savings account that usually had money in it. It sure made medication a lot easier. :/

My sister and I went to the store, though first we went for a walk in the membership-only park that I keep getting there too late to buy a membership for. Someday, I swear I’ll give them money. I have horrible quality tennis shoes so I have a blister on the fourth toe of each foot. Blegh. It’s just one more thing on the “someday I’ll have a quality version of this” list, I suppose. We went through the store and watched some Doctor Who, and after she left, I binged.


I had been craving turnovers, so I bought some from the bakery. Ate all of those. Then a package of mint oreos disappeared shortly thereafter. I feel sick. 😛 I had a headache from being out in the sun and from my lovely spring allergies, and didn’t take ibuprofen and sudafed once we got home, so it all built, so now I’m sitting here, nursing a terrible pounding headache and trying not to barf and questioning most of my life choices.

I don’t know why I sometimes binge like that. Partly, I wonder if it’s because the anxiety had been so bad that I hadn’t had much of anything to eat for days, so I sort of ate everything in sight, sweets in particular because I was craving them. Some of it was eating out of continued anxiety.

Oh, and I definitely still have bedbugs. I’ve been debating that, but as I’ve been woken up multiple times now by lines of new bites since last night (still haven’t caught the bastards, argh) it’s pretty confirmed. I guess tomorrow is DEFINITELY a clean the house day, as I don’t want to look like a complete slob when the exterminator comes. I will also need to take my laundry and get that done. I’ve taken my bed apart just about every time I’ve woken up because I’m itchy, but I haven’t seen any sign of the beasts other than the bites on yours truly. I am SO SICK of this, I just want to curl into the fetal position and sob.

I’ll probably go do that in my landlady’s office in the morning, because I always feel so guilty for having to have the exterminator come, even though it’s not like it was my fault that not all of them died the last time he was here. He didn’t even believe I had any, and helpfully mansplained that I “should just toss everything in the dryer if you think you get a bite.”

No, really? This is only the THIRD DAMN TIME I’VE HAD THE BASTARDS.

I had caught two before he came, and then had what I thought were recurring bites versus new ones, as they didn’t weal up as bad as before, and they were where old bites had been. I think my increased sensitivity to where I feel the bites much faster, has led to smaller weals, which isn’t helping me identify bites very successfully. Also, it’s hard when there’s just one, versus the obvious line of three (breakfast, lunch and dinner.) Now I’ve got a very definitive line down one leg, so there we go.

If only the rest of me wasn’t breaking out in hives as a stress response, I’d be very, very happy.

Augh. All of this makes me want to just jump out of the window rather than deal with it, but it’s not worth actually throwing myself out the window.

I need to do something about the blisters on my toes, and go to bed. Again. I got up because I got bitten again in the half hour I was lying there, too uncomfortable to sleep. It’s hard to fall asleep when I know I’ll get chewed on no matter what I do, so every time I move and the sheets brush against my skin I’m waking up in a panic. Glarble.

I hate my life right now.

Also, I haven’t heard yet about either job, but I’m trying not to give up hope. I ran into an old coworker at the grocery store- I haven’t worked with her in almost five years. She was pregnant at the time, so she introduced me to her little boy that I last saw as a newborn peanut. Kinda blew my mind, honestly. Time really does fly. She suggested I look into where she works, but that’s working with kids, and, well, I’m not so into kids.


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