I’ve gone from sobbing to angry to apathetic to simply numb so many times in the last few days, it’s not even funny. I saw my therapist for the last time and cried, I met up with my old roommate for dinner and very nearly cried, I poked my head in to the office from the job I left for my last job, to say goodbye to any staff who were still there, and very nearly cried again. I’ve started randomly sobbing when I think about Chihiro, or about moving everything I own to a storage unit.
I’ve been exhausted, emotionally and physically, and I’ve barely started packing. Thank god my sister agreed to come help me pack and get things finished tomorrow after work, so hopefully everything will be ready for the move Saturday. I talked with mom about how I don’t think I’m going to be in any position to drive my car back once we’re done, so we’re discussing leaving it at my sister’s house. She is planning to come up the following weekend, so then I could ride down with her and drive it back. I could get the oil changed and the tires rotated and not be in a rush to do that, which would be nice. I think that’ll be what we do, as that sounds a lot less hectic than what we’re going to end up doing. I just don’t think I’ll have a five-hour drive in me after everything else.
I’m so exhausted… I’m thinking about going to bed now, and starting early, rather than sitting here staring at a wall and wasting time, because that’s definitely what is happening. Then I’ll have all day Friday (except for my appointment with my psychiatrist that I was able to get squeezed in for) to pack and clean, and hopefully be mostly ready to go Saturday morning. I still need to call the electric company, and the cable company to turn off my electric and internet. Shoot, I’ll have to take the box to the cable company tomorrow so I’m not fussing with it Saturday. I have no idea about a security deposit, I need to ask the landlady about that. There are SO MANY THINGS in my head right now and I’m just in a total fog.
Wish me luck. There might not be a post Monday or Tuesday, because I haven’t written one yet, I don’t have two braincells to rub together right now to really do any justice with *this* post, let alone another one, and I’m pretty sure once this is over I’m going to properly break down and sleep for days. So I’ll see you all at some point in the near future.