So I had a panic attack at work on Thursday, though I held it together until I got to go home. I definitely cried at home, because I’m just feeling so hopeless and trapped. I talked to mom and got it all out, and she just listened, which was nice.
I definitely need to sign up for sliding-scale housing, because that way hopefully I won’t lose my home again if I lose another job, and can maybe afford to get into my own place before I find another job. Of course, there’s a waiting list as long as my arm, so that might be a pipe dream, but we’ll figure it out. Mom again told me not to worry so much about the medical bills, because credit can be rebuilt, and it’s not worth killing myself over. I hate not being a responsible adult who can pay all of her bills, but I’m doing what I can. I might make a round of calls to all of them to try to explain my situation and get payments lowered again, because even the bare minimum is too much.
Hopefully I can hold it together at work on Friday and Saturday; they’re both two shift days. Hopefully I’ll get some decent hours, too, as I’m barely at 15 right now for the week.