Nervous-cited

I forgot that my last post was scheduled for Saturday and not Monday, so I’m sorry. Bad blogger.

Today at work was… trying. There is a manager who is a bully, whom the other managers know is a bully, and whenever you complain to the general manager, you’re told to “suck it up” and try to stay on her good side. Which is impossible, as she has a handful of coworkers she ALWAYS picks on, and usually another at random. I think I’m one of the former, and due to my polite, cooperative nature, she appears to take great delight in yelling at me for every possible stupid thing and rattling me, which makes me anxious and I make more mistakes that she can yell at me for. Standing up for myself against someone like that is hard, especially when I know a) the other managers, including the general manager, will not do anything to curb this behavior so I have no support, and b) she has no compunctions about sending people home if you disagree with her or piss her off for some reason, and I’ve got bills to pay. I was tired after not really getting any sleep at my friend’s house and then going to the Michigan Renaissance Festival and walking on a sprained ankle in the rain for seven hours, and not getting enough sleep again, so I was in a state of mild hysteria/near tears the whole shift. A klonopin just made me more clumsy and prone to mistakes, so while I didn’t end up bursting into tears, it was still very hard.

I’m going to try to get more sleep tonight. Tomorrow I plan to clean my room when I get home and get my interview clothes ready for Wednesday. Maybe then I’ll feel a little more sane.

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