Meh.

So the interview went very well, I feel, but my hopes were definitely shattered all over the rocks. It’s only part-time, they’ve already hired someone to be the jewelry instructor (they need a knitting/crochet instructor, and I do crochet, but I’m not very diverse in various stitches yet) and the only health benefit that the interviewer *thinks* they have is “some sort of prescription coverage? I’ll have to get back to you.” The only way to get full-time is to become a manager, something I really, really don’t want.

I guess I’ll see what happens, and just keep looking in the meantime.

I came home and flopped in bed to cry and try to stop the suicidal thoughts, and mom talked to me, and once again we had the same damn conversation about how maybe I need to try different coping skills like exercise and I tried to explain that I isolate and nap on purpose so I don’t do something stupid, to which she offered to walk with me so I didn’t do something stupid.

We’re rarely home simultaneously, as I usually am getting off work at Wendy’s when she’s heading to bed. I don’t think that one’s remotely feasible. That, and my mom walks so fast, I’m usually trailing by a good half block, and I don’t want to hear about needing to walk faster or anything.

I have a headache from crying still. I tried to go to bed two hours ago but my head was too busy throbbing.

Chihiro has her surgery on Tuesday of next week. I desperately need help funding it. Please considering donating, or at least boosting the signal. I have no idea how all of my bills are going to get paid, and Chihiro doesn’t deserve to suffer because I am a loser in a dead-end job.

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