When will I stop feeling like I’m just running in place?

I can’t wait to find a new job. I’m waiting on a copy of my transcript to get here so I can upload it to the Michigan state jobs website, and apply for something like child or adult protective services, because those don’t have the licensed social worker requirement that working in mental health does. It’s getting desperate. I’m doing the best I can, but I just don’t have much money at all, and I’m being careful and spending it pretty much only on bills. Even then, I’m a half-payment behind on my car, and a payment and a half behind on my student loan that simply won’t back off, and neither of them will budge or do anything to help me, so I get calls constantly. They say they want to work with me, but the definition of work with me seems to be “give me your bank info so we can extract the amount of money you owe us” and nothing much else. I talk to them both all the time, I throw as much money as possible at them, but I can’t get ahead right now, because there’s nothing to get ahead WITH.

I’ve got a commission and a reserved listing waiting, and so hopefully I’ll be able to throw that money at one of them. I can’t just ignore the student loan because my mom cosigned that one, so they’ll come after her, and I can’t just ignore the car, because they’ll simply come take it and then I’m royally screwed.

I guess maybe I need to sit down and talk to my mom about it, but then it’ll turn into a production and my stepdad will get involved, and I already hate myself enough right now. I just don’t know what to do. I have yet to find anything promising in the job market and there’s just nothing up here at all, job-wise. I don’t know what to do other than keep trudging, but it feels a lot like I’m just walking in place.


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